Wednesday, May 11, 2011

In Love?

I honestly don't know what is this I'm feeling for someone....

I have this friend of mine, we're sweet with each other, very sweet actually....

One day, i don't know what happened, but I just can't stop thinking about him...
I'm always waiting for him to get online.... I'm always waiting for his text...

I want to see him....

Almost effortlessly like he's a part of my whole system.....

I hate what I'm feeling right now.....
I can't be in love with him.... You see, he's not someone I will fall in love with....

But hell, I can't help it.....

I'm trying so hard to deny it....
I don't want to accept the most logical explanation of all these things.....

I can't be in love with him.... I just can't......

I hate myself for feeling this way....


Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Oh thesis!

So, at our school, third year second sem, you have to do the chapters 1-3 of your thesis. Then, defend your title.

It's quite difficult, seriously! Even now, it is already vacation, all of us are still doing this what they call thesis.

I don't hate it, i do know that it is really a part of college life. But really, thesis is not that easy. A lot of hard work, sleepless nights, pressure, stress rolled into one is still not enough.

I wonder if I can really make it. A good thesis or rather a great thesis made by me? I doubt it! It's not that I don't trust myself or what, I just don't know if I can, if I'm good enough.

But I'm really trying my best to finish my thesis. Reading a lot, researching in libraries of different schools, asking a lot people if they have an idea regarding my topic, seeking advices from different professors ... oh sheesh! What more?

I just hope that all of the hard works will be paid off.

Well, after this, it is still not yet done....There's the defense, OMG!

I know God will help me with all of these.

This blog is kinda nonsense, i know that!

I'll post something interesting soon, when my mind is not preoccupied with sooo many things. When I can hold a single sane thought in my head na.

That's all for now.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I Miss You

Hi Blogger! I missed you! I seriously missed you.

It's been quite a while since my last post here. I'm sorry for neglecting you ever since I learned about Tumblr. And I've been very busy too, no time for any social networking thingy.

But hey, I'm back now! I'll try to update here once in a while.

Gonna post all my personal blogs here, not in tumblr. I find blogger more "personal" than tumblr.

That's all for now.


I just had a very very hard time remembering what's my eadd here.... Memory gap!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


let's go a li'l pinoy this time.... magtatagalog ako ngayon para masaya... my first tagalog blog ever!

i don't know, but there's this guy kasi... i really like him.... A LOT! we've met at the right time but the timing is not perfect??? what??? ano daw yun??? basta late kaming nagkakilala...

let's  say, the day we've met, we're both single and AVAILABLE kaso as time runs,  nagkaron siya ng gf...  it made me feel soooooooo sad... i must say, i was really hurt!

and everytime na itatry kong iwasan siya or what, parang nananadya talaga ang tadhana... saka naman siya magmemessage or magpapakita sakin... it's so nakakainis diba???

and i hate myself kasi hindi ko talaga siya matiis... as in!

before, lagi ko lang sinasabi na, crush ko lang siya...mga ganon...kasi yun naman talaga ang "akala" ko dati.... pero just recently kasi, parang nakapag-isip ako ng bonggang bongga then may nangyari pa... ayun! parang that "thing" made me realize na gusto ko pala talaga siya... i don't know if todo yung pagkagusto na yun or what...basta i like him! i really really like him...

kaso yun nga, he's taken! i'm really irritated kapag nakikita ko sila together.. la lang, naiinis lang ako...hehehe! but no, i'm not jealous naman.... hindi naman ako selosa... la lang, nakakainis lang kasi dapat talaga kami! hahaha, echos!

no, but seriously, it's an ouch naman talaga diba? makita mo yung guy na you really like na may kasamang iba.... 

so yun! i just feel the need na ilabas tong nafifeel ko right now...i'll go crazy kapag hindi ko to nailabas...promise!

gusto ko talagang mawala whatever feelings i have for him right now...kasi nga diba, hindi nga kami in hindi!

it'll hurt me more kapag hindi nawala to! kasi naman eh!


is this really a tagalog blog? hahaha! taglish ata pero pwede na rin! diba???

nakakarelate ba kayo???


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Why Do I Love You

Suddenly he's 
Suddenly the
Promise of love has gone
Breathing seems so hard to do

Carefully you
Planned it
I got to know just
A minute to late, oh boy 
now I understand it
All the times we
Made love together
Baby you were thinking of her

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should've told me
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)
Why do I love you like I do

Ain't gonna show no
I'm gonna smile
And tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down
When no one can hear me
Baby I'll be crying for you

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should've told me
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)
Why do I love you like I do

Can't go back
Can't erase
Baby your smiling face oh no
I can think of nothing else but you

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should've told me
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)
Why do I love you like I do


i've changed some of the lyrics...

from her to him

from he's to she's

from girl to boy

obviously i did that because i'm a girl...........

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I Love My Grades!

It was a tough sem. It was tougher than I expected. There was A LOT of work to do and A LOT of commitments to attend to.

But thank God, I've got good grades. The sleepless nights, stressed and "ngaragness" moments paid off. I never expected that I’ll maintain what I had last semester. Well, I can now say that I survived.

You know, I've been waiting for the grades to be completed since a week ago, and it really makes my adrenaline shoot up to the highest level.

Anyway, I am still excited this coming semester. Will it be tougher than the previous semesters? Well, let’s see. 

First sem is over. I hope I could maintain my grades or do better next sem.

Thanks to all my profs!!!


1.00 for major subject! Love it!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Sadness and Pain

Have you ever loved someone but knew they didn't care?
Have you ever felt like crying but knew you'd get no where?

Have you ever looked into their hearts and wished that you were there?

Love is grand, yet it hurts so much. The price you pay is high. If I could choose between Love and Death, I'd rather choose to die.

I look up as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek. I think about better days and wonder if I'll feel that way again.

When is it time to say goodbye?

When is it time to end your pain?

Deep inside of me, something is missing. Al I do is talk to myself in the mirror, with my reflection. My heart is dead. Soon it will make a resurrection, once the wounds heal and I'm loved for real. A type of love I can feel. But nobody loves me. Nobody cares. Nobody loves me. That nobody is me. I can't love myself because no one does. I'm all alone and no longer what I once was. But the only thing that keeps me alive is knowing that the next day, it might all change for the best. And that "nobody" becomes somebody.

I will never forget the days we once had. The days when you were everything to me. My mind used to tell me we'd be together forever but now I realize that was all a big dream. The feelings I have for you will never go. I wish I could take back that one regretful day, the day when I willingly let you slide from my arms. Never did I think of the astonishing pain of regrets that I would once have to live through. The thought that you're not mine anymore makes my heart shatter into a million pieces. I sometimes wonder if you still think of me or if to you, I'm just a face in the crowd. I wish so very much that one day we can have it all back. But for now, I'll sit here silently, remembering all the memories we once shared. Everyday my love grows much stronger. Hoping that one day you will feel the same and put back the pieces of my broken heart.

But I guess I am the one who needs to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart - one by one, piece by piece.

I need to put it together again, some how. some way.

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.


The past is not yet over and it left a scar so real.
We don't choose who we can love, and love doesn't really die.
You can find it in your heart again.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Last Christmas by Taylor Swift

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying, "I love you", I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room and friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A girl undercover but you tore her apart
Maybe this year, maybe this year
I'll give it to someone special

'Cause last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

And last Christmas
And this year won't be anything like
Anything like

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
And this year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

i really love it! i love you taylor!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

First Sem is Over

Two last exams tomorrow and my first sem is over! A relief one after a very challenging semester! Many things happened, new experiences, new friends, new lessons and everything. All things turned out to be very worthwhile. Being part of the 2BA-2 section was one of the most beautiful experiences i had. We shared laughter, jokes and sadness as well. Inevitable misunderstandings do came but I guess it's pretty normal. This semester was full of realizations and I'm proud to say that i made the most out of it [I guess, haha!]. Final grades are coming up!  I'll just think positively and whatever is the result of my work, I'll accept it. I'm halfway excited and frightened... All i know is i gave my best shot this semester and I'll just look forward for its product! Wish me luck! The next semester is supah fast approaching and I'm kinda excited! :) 

This semester had been a challenging one for me, not only academically. But most importantly is that I learnt something from it and start afresh in the coming semester.

~looking forward to new adventures!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

College life

My memories go for a walk down the lane. Scrolling past my memory nostalgia sweeps me off the feet. School life and College life, the fun, the differences, the lessons learned always has sparked off a debate as to which of them is the most influential.

My school life was fun. No REAL pressure to perform, no projects to do. The only place where you do nothing and be happy. Except for the occasional quarterly, half-yearly and annual exams. Exams sound Greek and Latin to me! School was the place which taught me the value of friendship and to love friends.

But college life is the real catalyst to an unending world of fun, misunderstandings,sharing and true friends stick together,they gel together. College life and hostel fun teaches you a world of good characters,to help,to adjust and to get to know many people truly. So School life is good. But College life is Better.

A Poem for College Students

A Poem for College Students

Degrees of turn beyond a quarter past,
Are oblique angles, to the very last..
Repeat the equation, through a parallel plane,
Is the Hyperbola axis diminished by name?.

Think three dimensions, x- y- and z,
In reference to a variable, location be.
What’s a Parabolic, in the values of co-sine?
Are repressive expressions, of subgroups define?

Quadrature values, for the volume of Pi,
But don’t stop to calculate reason or why.
Go forth to answers, and exact solution,
Time relative to space, is just an illusion.

Beyond the ecliptic, apogee of spin
Isn’t the Tomorrow , a yesterday again?
In sub-atomic, down to the quark,
The nature of particles, glow in the dark.

Caught in a vortex of black holes that spin,
With inversed relationships, forming again.
What does it matter, anti or not,
Another dimension, is all that you got.

So where do you stand, as a particle wave?
An organic ghost echo, gone to the grave?
Look to the future, as if based in a parody
The statistical probability, is a incalculable singularity

Infinite anything, isn’t a truth.
Finite conceptions, the BIG BANG of youth
Say an Amen, to the complex design;
Trust in the emptiness, every things fine.

Believe in a Zero, it’s a concept of Math,
A nothing is something, is a gate to that path,
Empirical evidence, things you could measure,
Questioning everything, creates the treasure.

Listen to the ramblings, of the muttering fool,
His virtue is wisdom, and a valuable tool.
The truth in the Bible, is hidden by parable
Consistently valid, in a twenty century variable.

Learn by mistakes, it’s the nature of man
That nothing is proved, is part of the plan.
The long string of questions, connected in series,
Is better than answers, supported by theories.

Academical noble, philosophical part,
Supporting the other, heretical Art.
Where lies the value, in listing all nature,
A billion more nouns of trite nomenclature?

Universities charge you, to pander your brain;
Certificates of rectitude, participation abstain.
Independent creations, of the conceptual link, Proof that you study, doesn’t mean you can think.

A beautiful soliloquy, whispered in the dark,
By another old man, who dies in the park.
Volumes of knowledge, to dust every day,
Try and take notice, and not to look away.

The circles ever closing, as circles always do;
The old are giving ground, before creation of the new,
Who’ll be to blame, for the paradise lost?
What’s in the value of writing the cost?

When life is over, where will you go?,
What will remain , to be left to show?
Something you said, that others might quote?
A witty retort or cute antidote?

Where are scales Justice, for the balance begin?
When is the judgment of goodness or sin,
What’s your response, if the answer tomorrow?
An hours remains, to contemplate sorrow?

What is the consequence, to pass away tonight?
What’s your accomplishments, What was done right?
No question to answer, no passing or fail;
It’s not a party killer, or an Aesop fable tale.

It’s not about religion, or what you call your maker;
Nor a solicitation, from your local under-taker.
It’s a question for your life, the really inner you;
To answer to yourself ( in truth), is really what I’d do.

Do you cherish relationships, a family bond of love?,
Or are these Xeroxed copies, of emotions from above?
A purpose should be calling, each day you go to reason;
Before you wither on the vine, in the fall of your own season.

Was all this so depressing?, or make you stop and think?
Or run across the room and take a barf into the sink?
It’s really just some words put down, to stimulate your learning,
Written by another, on the path, in lives sojourning.

So keep these words of wisdom, like the writing on the wall,
A vigil to remind you, when the challenge comes to call.
Because true wisdom in this life, isn’t in a book;
It isn’t in the clothes you wear, or how you think you look.

It won’t be a diploma earned, or the money you’ll be burning,
It even isn’t memories, that always keep returning.
Wisdom grows from simple truths, found along the way,
But only when applied with love, each and every day.

When you get through reading this, go write your folks a letter,
Tell them your room mates not Usamma or a bed sheets wetter,
Watch what you eat, use protection, and try not to inhale,
It’s better to lie instead of try, or maybe go to jail.

So smile at being blessed enough, to be attending college,
Some people are just fortunate, to sip the cup of knowledge.
And don’t forget the others, who have walked your path before;
The future lives on hopes and dreams, that passions will restore.

By Alex Ingram 18 July 2006


love it!