Thursday, November 12, 2009

:)

let's go a li'l pinoy this time.... magtatagalog ako ngayon para masaya... my first tagalog blog ever!


i don't know, but there's this guy kasi... i really like him.... A LOT! we've met at the right time but the timing is not perfect??? what??? ano daw yun??? basta late kaming nagkakilala...

let's  say, the day we've met, we're both single and AVAILABLE kaso as time runs,  nagkaron siya ng gf...  it made me feel soooooooo sad... i must say, i was really hurt!


and everytime na itatry kong iwasan siya or what, parang nananadya talaga ang tadhana... saka naman siya magmemessage or magpapakita sakin... it's so nakakainis diba???

and i hate myself kasi hindi ko talaga siya matiis... as in!


before, lagi ko lang sinasabi na, crush ko lang siya...mga ganon...kasi yun naman talaga ang "akala" ko dati.... pero just recently kasi, parang nakapag-isip ako ng bonggang bongga then may nangyari pa... ayun! parang that "thing" made me realize na gusto ko pala talaga siya... i don't know if todo yung pagkagusto na yun or what...basta i like him! i really really like him...

kaso yun nga, he's taken! i'm really irritated kapag nakikita ko sila together.. la lang, naiinis lang ako...hehehe! but no, i'm not jealous naman.... hindi naman ako selosa... la lang, nakakainis lang kasi dapat talaga kami! hahaha, echos!


no, but seriously, it's an ouch naman talaga diba? makita mo yung guy na you really like na may kasamang iba.... 


so yun! i just feel the need na ilabas tong nafifeel ko right now...i'll go crazy kapag hindi ko to nailabas...promise!


gusto ko talagang mawala whatever feelings i have for him right now...kasi nga diba, hindi nga kami pwede...as in hindi!


it'll hurt me more kapag hindi nawala to! kasi naman eh!



***********

is this really a tagalog blog? hahaha! taglish ata pero pwede na rin! diba???

nakakarelate ba kayo???

hay...........

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Why Do I Love You



Suddenly he's 
Leaving
Suddenly the
Promise of love has gone
Suddenly
Breathing seems so hard to do

Carefully you
Planned it
I got to know just
A minute to late, oh boy 
now I understand it
All the times we
Made love together
Baby you were thinking of her

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should've told me
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)
Why do I love you like I do

Ain't gonna show no
Weakness
I'm gonna smile
And tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down
When no one can hear me
Baby I'll be crying for you

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should've told me
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)
Why do I love you like I do

Can't go back
Can't erase
Baby your smiling face oh no
I can think of nothing else but you
Suddenly

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should've told me
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)
Why do I love you like I do



*********************************

i've changed some of the lyrics...

from her to him

from he's to she's

from girl to boy


obviously i did that because i'm a girl...........

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I Love My Grades!

It was a tough sem. It was tougher than I expected. There was A LOT of work to do and A LOT of commitments to attend to.

But thank God, I've got good grades. The sleepless nights, stressed and "ngaragness" moments paid off. I never expected that I’ll maintain what I had last semester. Well, I can now say that I survived.


You know, I've been waiting for the grades to be completed since a week ago, and it really makes my adrenaline shoot up to the highest level.


Anyway, I am still excited this coming semester. Will it be tougher than the previous semesters? Well, let’s see. 


First sem is over. I hope I could maintain my grades or do better next sem.


Thanks to all my profs!!!


************************


1.00 for major subject! Love it!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Sadness and Pain

Have you ever loved someone but knew they didn't care?
Have you ever felt like crying but knew you'd get no where?

Have you ever looked into their hearts and wished that you were there?


Love is grand, yet it hurts so much. The price you pay is high. If I could choose between Love and Death, I'd rather choose to die.


I look up as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek. I think about better days and wonder if I'll feel that way again.


When is it time to say goodbye?

When is it time to end your pain?


Deep inside of me, something is missing. Al I do is talk to myself in the mirror, with my reflection. My heart is dead. Soon it will make a resurrection, once the wounds heal and I'm loved for real. A type of love I can feel. But nobody loves me. Nobody cares. Nobody loves me. That nobody is me. I can't love myself because no one does. I'm all alone and no longer what I once was. But the only thing that keeps me alive is knowing that the next day, it might all change for the best. And that "nobody" becomes somebody.


I will never forget the days we once had. The days when you were everything to me. My mind used to tell me we'd be together forever but now I realize that was all a big dream. The feelings I have for you will never go. I wish I could take back that one regretful day, the day when I willingly let you slide from my arms. Never did I think of the astonishing pain of regrets that I would once have to live through. The thought that you're not mine anymore makes my heart shatter into a million pieces. I sometimes wonder if you still think of me or if to you, I'm just a face in the crowd. I wish so very much that one day we can have it all back. But for now, I'll sit here silently, remembering all the memories we once shared. Everyday my love grows much stronger. Hoping that one day you will feel the same and put back the pieces of my broken heart.


But I guess I am the one who needs to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart - one by one, piece by piece.

I need to put it together again, some how. some way.

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.


********************************************

The past is not yet over and it left a scar so real.
We don't choose who we can love, and love doesn't really die.
You can find it in your heart again.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Last Christmas by Taylor Swift



Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying, "I love you", I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room and friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A girl undercover but you tore her apart
Maybe this year, maybe this year
I'll give it to someone special

'Cause last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

And last Christmas
And this year won't be anything like
Anything like

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
And this year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special



i really love it! i love you taylor!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

First Sem is Over

Two last exams tomorrow and my first sem is over! A relief one after a very challenging semester! Many things happened, new experiences, new friends, new lessons and everything. All things turned out to be very worthwhile. Being part of the 2BA-2 section was one of the most beautiful experiences i had. We shared laughter, jokes and sadness as well. Inevitable misunderstandings do came but I guess it's pretty normal. This semester was full of realizations and I'm proud to say that i made the most out of it [I guess, haha!]. Final grades are coming up!  I'll just think positively and whatever is the result of my work, I'll accept it. I'm halfway excited and frightened... All i know is i gave my best shot this semester and I'll just look forward for its product! Wish me luck! The next semester is supah fast approaching and I'm kinda excited! :) 


This semester had been a challenging one for me, not only academically. But most importantly is that I learnt something from it and start afresh in the coming semester.


~looking forward to new adventures!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

College life

My memories go for a walk down the lane. Scrolling past my memory nostalgia sweeps me off the feet. School life and College life, the fun, the differences, the lessons learned always has sparked off a debate as to which of them is the most influential.

My school life was fun. No REAL pressure to perform, no projects to do. The only place where you do nothing and be happy. Except for the occasional quarterly, half-yearly and annual exams. Exams sound Greek and Latin to me! School was the place which taught me the value of friendship and to love friends.


But college life is the real catalyst to an unending world of fun, misunderstandings,sharing and true friends stick together,they gel together. College life and hostel fun teaches you a world of good characters,to help,to adjust and to get to know many people truly. So School life is good. But College life is Better.

A Poem for College Students

A Poem for College Students


Degrees of turn beyond a quarter past,
Are oblique angles, to the very last..
Repeat the equation, through a parallel plane,
Is the Hyperbola axis diminished by name?.

Think three dimensions, x- y- and z,
In reference to a variable, location be.
What’s a Parabolic, in the values of co-sine?
Are repressive expressions, of subgroups define?

Quadrature values, for the volume of Pi,
But don’t stop to calculate reason or why.
Go forth to answers, and exact solution,
Time relative to space, is just an illusion.

Beyond the ecliptic, apogee of spin
Isn’t the Tomorrow , a yesterday again?
In sub-atomic, down to the quark,
The nature of particles, glow in the dark.

Caught in a vortex of black holes that spin,
With inversed relationships, forming again.
What does it matter, anti or not,
Another dimension, is all that you got.

So where do you stand, as a particle wave?
An organic ghost echo, gone to the grave?
Look to the future, as if based in a parody
The statistical probability, is a incalculable singularity

Infinite anything, isn’t a truth.
Finite conceptions, the BIG BANG of youth
Say an Amen, to the complex design;
Trust in the emptiness, every things fine.

Believe in a Zero, it’s a concept of Math,
A nothing is something, is a gate to that path,
Empirical evidence, things you could measure,
Questioning everything, creates the treasure.

Listen to the ramblings, of the muttering fool,
His virtue is wisdom, and a valuable tool.
The truth in the Bible, is hidden by parable
Consistently valid, in a twenty century variable.

Learn by mistakes, it’s the nature of man
That nothing is proved, is part of the plan.
The long string of questions, connected in series,
Is better than answers, supported by theories.

Academical noble, philosophical part,
Supporting the other, heretical Art.
Where lies the value, in listing all nature,
A billion more nouns of trite nomenclature?

Universities charge you, to pander your brain;
Certificates of rectitude, participation abstain.
Independent creations, of the conceptual link, Proof that you study, doesn’t mean you can think.

A beautiful soliloquy, whispered in the dark,
By another old man, who dies in the park.
Volumes of knowledge, to dust every day,
Try and take notice, and not to look away.

The circles ever closing, as circles always do;
The old are giving ground, before creation of the new,
Who’ll be to blame, for the paradise lost?
What’s in the value of writing the cost?

When life is over, where will you go?,
What will remain , to be left to show?
Something you said, that others might quote?
A witty retort or cute antidote?

Where are scales Justice, for the balance begin?
When is the judgment of goodness or sin,
What’s your response, if the answer tomorrow?
An hours remains, to contemplate sorrow?

What is the consequence, to pass away tonight?
What’s your accomplishments, What was done right?
No question to answer, no passing or fail;
It’s not a party killer, or an Aesop fable tale.

It’s not about religion, or what you call your maker;
Nor a solicitation, from your local under-taker.
It’s a question for your life, the really inner you;
To answer to yourself ( in truth), is really what I’d do.

Do you cherish relationships, a family bond of love?,
Or are these Xeroxed copies, of emotions from above?
A purpose should be calling, each day you go to reason;
Before you wither on the vine, in the fall of your own season.

Was all this so depressing?, or make you stop and think?
Or run across the room and take a barf into the sink?
It’s really just some words put down, to stimulate your learning,
Written by another, on the path, in lives sojourning.

So keep these words of wisdom, like the writing on the wall,
A vigil to remind you, when the challenge comes to call.
Because true wisdom in this life, isn’t in a book;
It isn’t in the clothes you wear, or how you think you look.

It won’t be a diploma earned, or the money you’ll be burning,
It even isn’t memories, that always keep returning.
Wisdom grows from simple truths, found along the way,
But only when applied with love, each and every day.

When you get through reading this, go write your folks a letter,
Tell them your room mates not Usamma or a bed sheets wetter,
Watch what you eat, use protection, and try not to inhale,
It’s better to lie instead of try, or maybe go to jail.

So smile at being blessed enough, to be attending college,
Some people are just fortunate, to sip the cup of knowledge.
And don’t forget the others, who have walked your path before;
The future lives on hopes and dreams, that passions will restore.


By Alex Ingram 18 July 2006


*****************************

love it!

Student/School Life

School life

© Cheryl Theseira



School is a daily routine for us
In the morning, we're sure to make a fuss
Even when the sun is still not up,
Here we are, awake at 6am sharp

We feel that school is such a bore
We feel that school is such a chore
Parents say, “School’s great! Now, go!”
We say, “Well, what do you know?”

Late a minute and we have to run
Eyes half open, shoelaces undone
We reach school and we see our friends,
Immediately, the torture ends

We have a chat and go with the flow
Then the bell rings, it is time to go
We may at times find school stressful
To have some fun, we have to bend some rules

Talk back to teachers, and detention we serve
No doubt, it is sometimes what we deserve
Sometimes they are as cold as ice
And other times they're actually really nice

They teach us and give us a helping hand
They’re forever ready to listen and be a friend
They have built much confidence in us
Just not when they are being really harsh

Over the years of education,
Never have we had so much learning with action
Such as camps, experiments, concerts and activities
We’ve learnt so much and even saved the trees

A wise teacher once said aloud -
Success is failure turned inside out
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit

Some may see school as a torture chamber
Some cannot wait for the holidays in December
But it depends on how we look at school

Honestly, positively, school is cool!



***********

i love this poem! obviously, that's why it is posted here! hehehe!

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Love of my Life











He's the center of my thoughts and the essence of my being. He have lifted me up from a life filled with sorrow and made me realize there is always a better tomorrow.

It amazes me how someone can make me feel this way. I love him more and more with each passing day

He brighten my days and lift my spirits. I have felt this for so long and now want him to hear it. I cry at the fact that there aren't words to describe my love for him.

To my heart he has the key. He's the most precious thing in the world to me.

One day soon I hope he'll see how much he really do mean to me. I love him so deeply and passionately so one day soon I hope he will know.

He makes me feel happy when he's around. My head starts to spin and my feet leave the ground. I float on the clouds and fly like a dove just because of him. 

From the moment I saw him, I knew it was true The pounding of my heart told me what I already knew, that he's someone special, I could feel it in my heart.

So, you gorgeous man, the love of my life, I have laid down my heart in the hope you will see how much you really, really do mean to me. For now, for always, and for all eternity.

Without you I'm like a flower which have no fragrance, 
Without you I'm like a bird that fails to fly, 
Without you my life is invaded by darkness, 
You are still the reason for my breath, 
You are the hope and dream of my heart,

I have never been whole enough to feel how wonderful life is until I found you.



*****************************


You are my everything
My heart and soul
I thought I had dug my grave
But you pulled me out of that hole

When I am lost in the dark
You are my shinning light
You chase away the darkness
That haunts my dreams at night

You are my strength
That carries me to another tomorrow
You are my hope
That replaced my everlasting sorrow

You are my healer
That healed all my scars
You are my angel
Sent from the brightest of stars

When I thought there was nothing more
And my life was at an end
You came into my life
And my heart you did mend

You are my joy
That filled my empty heart
You made my life whole
When it was torn apart

When I found you
I was free from all torment
You are my angel
That was heaven sent

You mean so much to me
You are the only one I adore
You are my everything
I could ask for nothing more

-Magnus


******************************


ONE IN A MILLION


How did i get here
I turned around and there you where
Didn´t think twice or rationalize
Cause somehow i knew
That there was more that just chemistry
I mean i knew you were kind of into me
But i figured it´s too good to be true

I said pinch me, where´s the catch this time
Can´t find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before i get use to this guy

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink
Of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
Can´t believe it
You´re one in a million

All this time i was looking for love
Tryna make things work that weren´t good
Enough
Till i thought i´m through, said i´m done
Then stumbled into the arms of the one

You´re making me laugh about the silliest
Stuff
Say that i´m your diamond in the ruff
When i´m mad at you; you pull out your velvet
Gloves

I feel drunk but i am sober
And i´m smiling all over
Every time i see that sparkle in your eyes

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink
Of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
Can´t believe it
You´re one in a million

I feel drunk but i am sober
And i´m smiling all over
Every time i see that sparkle in your eyes

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink
Of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
Can´t believe it
You´re one in a million


Pain in my Heart [part 2]



Here I am alone in this empty room,

And let my mind just fly you to the end.
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair.

I could still recall, those memories of you,
The joy and all your laughter,
The love that we've been through.
Oh I can't believe, you're gone...


I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

Talkin' to my self, for reasons I can't find.
Findin' out why everything went wrong.

Tears fallin' down on my cheeks,
That I've been tryin' to hold.
I just dunno if I could still go on.

I wanted you to stay,
The tears began to show,
You said you care for me,
But then you have to go
And now I know, you're gone.

I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart


(Instrumental)


I just can't believe, you're gone...

I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart,

And I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

PAIN IN MY HEART

I'm overwhelmed by one thing. This thing is called pain. I feel devastated,  all I can think of is pain. This pain comes with memories like daggers and knives and spears.


This pain is caused by loss and radiates from the heart. There is no medication; nothing to stop me falling apart. My confidence is shaken and my whole world caving in. My clouded mind can’t fathom it ... my new day can‘t begin. The heartache travels through the mind, then on, down to the soul.

My heart is bruised and broken. A kind of loneliness has stroke, and I can't breath without you ... I can't see without you.

I strive for things that are useless and vain but deep inside I'm filled with pain. This pain is great and hard to hide...

I'm sitting all alone in my room and once again I'm thinking of my life. My past is passing me by. See a lot of pain, a lot of tears. That's how I remember it. There were a lot of days that I could only cry. My hope faded away. I wanted to say goodbye to everything. Too much pain in the past.

I wish I was strong like I used to be ... before hurt and pain weakened me.


I'm tired of my heart being broken
I'm tired of these tears falling down my face
I'm tired of this love being taken for granted
Why did you go away?



I really love you but you love someone else. Loneliness is tearing me apart. How can I find a way to your heart?



I miss you so much ... All I can do now is to think....
How it used to be...
How great it was...
Together, you and me....


You're forever written in my mind, heart and soul..

I will never ever forget you...
I will never ever stop thinking of you...
I will never ever stop loving you..
Never.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Obsessed





Why do i just lie awake and think of you?
I need some sleep.
Tomorrow i have things to do.
Everytime i close my eyes i see your face
So i try to read but all i do is lose my place.


[chorus]
Am i obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
But i do all the time.
I do all the time.


I just had to call you up and say hello.
I know it's 3 am.
And i saw you awhile ago.
But i still had this aching pain to hear your voice
To know your there
I don't seem to have any choice.

[chorus]
Am i obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
But i do all the time.
I do all the time.


Oh yeah.
I'm so sorry i just had to wake you up.
I feel so lonely by myself.
Is this the way it feels when you're in love?
Or is this something else?
Yeah.

Yeeah.

[chorus]
Am i obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
I WANT YOU ALL THE TIME


Oooh yeah
But i do all the time
I WANT YOU ALL THE TIME
Am i obsessed with you?



Am I really obsessed with you, yael? I don't know, i really don't know... And I actually don't have a clue... All I know is, I LOVE YOU!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's All Because of You

I wanted to say something but i couldn't find the right words. Because you triggered a deep emotion that i couldn't believe i have. I felt terrible and i don't have any clue on how i could set things right. I have a lot on my mind and i'm having trouble dealing with them. After what happened, i guess, it's understandable that i would feel awkward with you.

Try as  i may, i have to admit that it would be almost impossible to erase that from my memory.

You had been my pillar of strenght during those times when my whole world was crashing all around me. I had made a mistake, fine, but i could also put that mistake behind me and start all over again. I'll just let nature take it's course and i'm sure that in a short time, i'll be good as new. I need time to fully heal for me to be able to think as clearly as before but it seems to be taking damn too long!

There is a void in my heart that nobody could fill. I tried to be happy here, only to realize that all these time, i've been nurturing the dream to be with you again.

If we parted our ways, maybe,  i'll regret it for the rest of my life. Or maybe not! One thing i'm sure of is, i would always feel this emptiness in one part of my heart if that happens.

This is really painful! My eyes burned from the tears and my breathing felt as if the air was coming from a narrow straw.

But i have to admit that being with you during that day .... i have to admit that for the first time in almost 10 months, i felt alive!

Kindly forgive me for feeling this way. I did not plan for this. It just happen. I have no other choice but to accept the most logical explanation. That i have fallen in love with you ... the first time i saw you.

Monday, October 12, 2009

In Love with the Wrong Person

We end up doing crazy things for love. It happens
all the time. It happens even to the best of us!
And it's happening to me right now! As in now!
I'm in love with the right man for me, but,
unfortunately, i'm not the right woman for him (aww). He's someone i can never have. He's taken! That makes me feel sad. But i guess, loving him is not a mortal sin, right? So just let me love him.

Yes, it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.

I love him! In every sense of the word!
He's my everything and the center of my world. He's my heart, my soul and my inspiration. He really rocks my world! I love him more than anything in this world!

 

Before, i used to asked myself..."is this really love i'm feeling right now?"
Coz, i used to have many bfs but i have never been in love before so i don't have any idea if it's "true love" i'm feeling right now. What i'm sure of is that, he's the only one who has ever made me feel this way and he's the one whom i know i can probably spend a lifetime with. But now, i have no doubts about my real feelings for him! Yes! This is love!


**********


Shocks! I love you so much! I can still remember the very first day i saw you!
When i saw you that day, my heart was forever caught by your smile and the most handsome face i laid my eyes on!

Really, i'm falling painfully hard and dangerously deep for you. My heart beats for you and i'm afraid there's nothing you or i can do about it. I love you! I really do! I couldn't believe it at first but later on, it became clear to me that my life wouldn't be complete without you. And i find myself more in love with you!

But you're just a dream! A fantasy! I knew that very well...Still, I'm wishing that one day, all these dreams and fantasies of mine will become reality!
That, you'll say all the words i've longed to hear like...."you make my heart swell with so much love. I'm so blessed for having you in my life, for having your love." Aww! Impossible!

I love you! And i will be forever grateful that once in my lifetime, i met you!

There are lots of words in the dictionary and millions of meanings that vary but i just can't find any sufficient word that will describes best how much i love you and how much you mean to me.

I love you more than life itself. You're the only thing i wanted in ages. The only thing!

You'll always be the one i love for you're the only one who fills up the palette that colors my life.

I love you every bit as much!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sad :(

I don't know why but i feel very sad... I feel very bad...


Sadness reigns supreme!


Oh well, I guess I feel this way because I'm stressed, depressed, disappointed and annoyed! Maybe I need a break! But, a break from what? I don't think I'm making any sense right here.


All I really want to say is that, I'm really sad... I really feel bad... as in, bad! I'm having trouble in dealing with myself right now...

I'm tired of being depressed...

I'm tired of the hurt and sorrow...


I'm blinded with sadness. Why won't this feeling go away. I feel this pain every day.  How long this pain gonna  last? I don't have a clue...


Whats happening to me? I used to be so strong, but lately I feel so weak. All the stress brings me down, it gives me no choice. I can't seem to speak my mind. Oh c'mon Charm!!! Earth on you!!!!!


Sometimes in life we get upset. We fear for the next . And we even fret. So, I guess I'm not losing my sanity! It's pretty normal to feel this way, ayt?


When I lay in bed crying all night I tell myself that it's gonna be ok, that I just know tomorrow will be a better day


I guess, I had a short-circuit within my brain.


I'm really like this, sometimes.  Yes, I'm still Charm. The girl that will always care even if she's soooo depressed!  And if there is someone who cares, I can't seem to find them anywhere.



This is nuts!  I hate this feeling!  I think, this blog of mine is sooooooo nonsense! What 'ya think???

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Lost Friendship






They "are" my "tropa" in Engineering department. We "were" so happy, then. Always together, no one and nothing can ever come between us. But that was before. Everything has changed.

Once we were close, like two sides of a coin. So close where words had no ground. We were good friends, and maybe more, at least that's what I thought.Today I am lucky if they would still call me friend. The cold reaching my very bones.

Being "tropa" with them was like having a bright, new pearl. They were the best friends you can ever have. But one day, I don't know what happened, everything was gone. Slowly, surely,not knowing why. Faster, stronger, without care, our world shifts and shimmers and splits.

All I can do now, is to remember how things were. The good times, not the bad times, which caused my heart to stir.

I thought I had found the perfect friends, but it only took about a sem for that to end.
I thought there was hope left in my life, but as it turns out, it was only added strife.
I thought we weren’t like all the rest,but like those before, we failed the test.
I thought they would stay with me, at least for a bit, but I guess, they decided it was better just to quit.

Friendship breaks even the best of ones, then all we have established becomes undone.

The friendship that i loved...came to an end.


Time has passed, only memories last, and little friendship remains.


I miss the way our friendship used to be.

Sembreak..... NO MORE

After midterm exam, all students are already itching to finish their final exam because they are all excited for -our most awaited moment- sembreak. And I won't deny the fact that I'm one of those student. Quite obvious because I mentioned, "OUR most awaited moment". But, things would be different this time.

Due to some reasons and some unavoidable circumstances, our most awaited sembreak is gone. Credits to typhoon ondoy, haha! It's kinda frustrating and disappointing but it's okay. We can do nothing about it.

But who says we do not have a sembreak? We do have a sembreak and basically it's our enrollment period! A week for thousands of enrollees!? I doubt it! Oh well, I don't wanna make comments about that enrollment factor because my main concern here is our sembreak! :) :) :)

And before I forgot, our final exam was moved as well. Now our school calendar is really useless! I just hope that all of these stuffs are not gonna happen this second sem!

I'm gonna miss you sembreak, hahaha! Does that sound pathetic or insane? Whatever!

Love and Hate

I think love and hate are only a hair strand away from each other... But anyway, I want to talk about some of what i love and hate the most...

Let's start...


I love dancing... but i don't think I'm a good dancer. I can dance, yes, but a good dancer? I don't know...

I love to sing though I'm very much aware that I wasn't born to be a singer!

I love music but music doesn't love me! haha, but it's all right!

I love to write most especially when I'm sad and all alone..

I love to eat! hahaha! and here are some of my favorites

  • Sbarro's pizza
  • Kripy Kreme and Gonuts Donuts
  • Ice cream (cookies n' cream, please?)
  • French Baker's Lasagna
  • Goldilock's Cakes
  • Zagu Pearl Shake
  • Spaghetti, Baked mac, French fries
  • Dairy Queen's ice cream
  • and I supah love STARBUCKS! I can't live without STARBUCKS! haha!
I love Sponge Cola... it's quite obvious if you're going to check my profiles...

I love color PINK!

***

I hate vegetable and fruits!

I hate it when my sisters are teaching me how to do household chores because, really, I'm not cut out for domestic chores! But, maybe someday, I'm gonna learn all those things but not now! Definitely not NOW and not in the near future!

I hate people who always make "pakialam" in other people's affairs and businesses! Why can't they mind their own business?

I hate people who can't shut their mouth! Sure, we are free to talk, but sometimes, too much talking is not necessary! There's a time, that you really need to shut up!

I hate it when someone is treating me as if I'm breakable.



There's so much I wanted to say but I'm really sleepy na! And I am actually typing while my eyes are shut!

SHUT UP!

I'm really really really pissed off! No, i think pissed off is an understatement! I just can't find any sufficient word to describe how mad I am!

Why on earth that some people can't just shut up? Is it sooooooooo hard to do? Oh c'mon! I don't think so!

Be sensitive please and learn how to shut your mouth!

I really hate them!

It's a perfect score man, then all of a sudden, just because some people can't control their mouth, minus 5! What the f*ck!

I hate it.... i hate it.... i hate it....

I really hate you my "dear NOISY classmates"! Promise!

I hope you guys are happy of what you've done and of what happened! Good luck to all of you and MAY God bless you!


This is too short for a blog but if I'm gonna make this long pa, I don't know what more can I say!

LESS TALK, LESS MISTAKE!

Monday, October 5, 2009

More About Charm

What you see is what you get. I'm just an ordinary person. I have my own flaws and weaknesses.

I'm a certified supladita [promise!], straight-forward and kinda bratinella. I hate rejections [who wants it?], pretensions, liars and pleasing other people coz no matter what you do, people would never run out of something to say against you and they will still hurt you.

I don't care and I'm not interested in other people's affairs and businesses. I do believe that I am entitled to make few mistakes for I'm only human, I'm not perfect and what makes me human is my imperfection.

I firmly believe that life is not about being fair, it's about surpassing the unfair reality.

I'm sometimes weird and I'm proud of it... you know, weirds are special in the eye of the Creator because they're not common.

YOU can never be me, I promise! :)

Some says that I'm a b*tch! But I really don't give a damn care! Well, if being a b*tch means I won't compromise what's in my heart, I live my life MY way, I won't allow anyone to step on me and I want what I want, so be it! I embrace the title and proud to bear it!

My temper is bad, really bad.

I'm not a nice person, but I'm not that bad! It all depends on YOU! hahaha!


I maybe selfish at times, but when it comes to LOVE, don't doubt! I don't PLAY with PERSON'S HEART unless THEY DESERVE IT!

I won't pretend just to have a good image. I prefer to be seen at my worst, not to be DISLIKED NOR TO BE CONDEMNED but to be ACCEPTED AND to be LOVED despite having the MOST TERRIBLE PERSONALITY i could have.



ENVY ME



FIGHT ME



BREAK ME



IMITATE ME



THIS IS STILL ME! NOT PERFECT BUT REAL!


i am INEXISTENT. But in the eyes of those who understand, I EXIST. I am EVIL. But to the people who learned to dig deep within me, I became the DEFINITION OF GOOD.I am NUMB. But to the few I learned to like and trust, I bacame the MOST SENSITIVE PERSON THEY EVER KNEW. To the world I AM NOTHING. But to the lives I've touched, I MAYBE EVERYTHING. I would either be your FRIEND OR ENEMY. In whatever way you may accept me, I'D STILL BE WHO I AM.




ChArM_17

Hi everyone! This is my very first blog here, obviously. :)

Let's start with "getting to know" stage. So, this very first blog of mine will be just, you know, all about me.

Again, my name is Charm, 20 years of age, a second year Business Administration student at Pamantasan ng Cabuyao.

I'm gonna fast forward everything, okay?

I was accelerated two times when i was in grade school. A consistent honor student, but i do not consider myself as a bright student or what. I actually hate it when people are giving me pleasantries or compliments... I don't know, but i really hate it. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

At the age of 14, i graduated in high school. Too young? Not really! I took up Associate in Office Administration at Polangui Community College and at the age of 16 I graduated with flying colors. It was really my moment!

Year 2007 when I decided to go back to school. So, I took up BSECE. Oh well, I don't wanna talk about it.... let's supah fast forward! After one year, i said goodbye to BSECE and said hello to BSBA.

I don't know, but I can say that until now, I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of my life that was broken during my engineering days.

Now, my profs are actually convincing me to take up BSA, as in accountancy! I'm still thinking! I'm torn! haha!


I'm gonna continue this later... or maybe tomorrow? Need to prepare now for school!


Last two hell weeks and my most awaited sembreak is here!

bye for now!
:)